The Most Complicated Family Tree
by almister12
Summary: Regina tries to explain her family tree to Robin.


**Tumblr Prompt:** I would love to read Regina trying to explain her complicated family tree (ie Emma is Henry's biomom, Emma is Snowing's daughter but they look the same age, Neal is the biodad and Rumple's son...) and Robin is just kind of taking it all in stride and she can't figure out why (hint: it's cause he's in loooove). Like during the lost year and/or their courtship in Storybrooke.

* * *

"Your mother, Cora, forced you to marry King Leopold?" Robin asked. "When you were only 18?"

Regina nodded. She had been surprised when he said he wanted to know about how everyone was related, since it was such a complicated and integrated family tree that sometimes even she couldn't figure out.

"Yes. That's how I became the Queen."

"But you were already a princess, because your father, Henry, was a prince?" he asked. His eyebrows were furrowed, and Regina couldn't help but think it looked like someone was trying to figure out a complicated math problem. "But Zelena wasn't royal because her birth father was a random stranger, and Cora gave her up for adoption."

She leaned in and kissed him lightly on the cheek. "Technically, yes, I was always a princess. But I was very low in the rankings."

He smiled at the contact before going back to the family history. "So, because you were married to the King, you were Mary Margaret's mother?"

"Stepmother. Eva, the queen who died before me, is Mary Margaret's mother," Regina corrected. "And so David is my step-son-in-law."

"And he was presumed to be James, right? The son of King George?"

"Yes, but his real parents were shepherds who couldn't afford to keep both twins." Regina said. She picked up her tea-filled mug and brought it to her lips, blowing off the steam and taking a sip. "And he was briefly engaged as James to Abigail, King Midas' daughter."

"Okay, so then if you are Mary Margaret's stepmother, then you are Emma's step-grandmother, right?"

"Right." Regina gave a quick dip of her head in agreement. "Why do you want to know all of this anyway?" she asked.

Robin gave a closed-mouth smile. "Because I want to know what I'm getting into."

Regina blushed before continuing on. "So, what do you want to know about my step-granddaughter?"

"She's Henry's birth mother," Robin said, more of a fact than a question.

"Yes, she is his biological mother, before I adopted him at three weeks." Regina answered. "I named him after my father."

"And so that makes him his biological mom's step-uncle?" Robin asked.

"Technically speaking, yes."

"Peculiar," he said, before continuing his questions. "Then, who is his biological dad?" Robin started absently drawing circles on her shoulder as they huddled closer on her living room couch.

"Neal," Regina said.

"Rumpelstiltskin's son. And he was engaged to that Tamara girl, right?"

"Well, yes, but it was kind of a sham," Regina explained. "She only dated him with a hidden agenda."

"Okay, so Rumpelstiltskin and Belle just got married, so she couldn't have been Neal's birth mother. Who was it?"

"Her name was Milah. She was Gold's first wife. She ran off with Hook before Gold killed her." Regina flicked her wrist and flames started in the fireplace, immediately warming the room. "Sorry, I know you don't like me to use magic, but I was getting cold and didn't want to leave your side."

"It's alright. Elsa has really got this town frozen over," he said. He reached over and grabbed a blanket from the other chair and pulled it on the both of them.

"So, do you have any other questions?" Regina took another sip of her tea.

"Well, I do have a couple. Emma, your step-granddaughter, is dating her ex-boyfriend's dead mother's adulterated lover?"

Regina chuckled. "I think you're getting the hang of it. You're better than most people in this town."

"Doesn't that make Hook, like, 300 years old?" Regina nodded. "Oh, I'm going to joke about that next time we're getting a pint at The Rabbit Hole." This only made Regina laugh more.

"Don't kid too much. He spent 300 years as a pirate. He's got 270 years of fighting experience on you." Regina pointed out.

Robin brought his vacant hand across his chest over his heart. "You don't think I could take an old man like that?" he asked, jokingly taking offense. "Especially one with only a single hand?"

Regina now kissed him on the lips. "I never said that," She brushed her nose back and forth against his before he turned back to questioning her family lineage.

"Now, Peter Pan is Rumpelstiltskin's father, right? And Maurice is Belle's?"

"Yes and yes."

"Ok, so now I have a different question. How do you all look the same age? Killian is 300 but looks no older than me, and Emma looks the same age as her parents. And why does Rumpelsitltskin look so much older than Pan? He looks like a teenager!"

"Slow down. Well, first off, Gold was about 55 when he became the dark one, and that curse makes you stay the same age until someone kills you with the dagger. So, he's always going to look that age, even now that time is moving again." Robin nodded in understanding. "Okay, so the reason Gold's father looks so much younger than him is because he wished to be young again, and was able to do that by going to Neverland, where time stands still and there are no rules. You could be in Neverland for 600 years and not look a day older than the moment you got there. That's why he looked so young when really he was much older than even Gold is at 55," she took a breath. "And the reason why Hook is 300 years old and why Neal was about 250 before he died, but they both only looked 35."

Robin's face contorted into the confused face, but still listened.

"As for Emma and her parents, the original curse was enacted when the Charmings were both 30, and Emma didn't break it until she was 28. I was 36 at the time, and Belle was 33, so that why all six of us look about the same age. You included. If you wanted to get technical, I'd be 66, the Charmings both 60, Belle would be 63, Neal would be 65, and you would be 60. So, I guess only Emma should look the age she really does."

"Stop right there, Regina. I am not 60 years old. I am a strong, fit man in my 30's."

Regina only laughed. "And that's only because I enacted the curse to stop time."

"So, where do Roland and I fit into all of this?" he asked, not enjoying the idea of suddenly being 60 years old.

"Well, since we're just dating, you wouldn't technically be on the tree, yet. But, if we were ever to…" Regina didn't know how to finish the sentence without scaring him off.

Robin helped her. "If we were ever to get married."

"Right. Then Roland would be my stepson, Henry would be your stepson, and I'm not quite sure how Mary Margaret would be related. But, since she is my stepdaughter, there has got to be some sort of step-relation that would involve you two." Her heart swelled at the thought of sharing her son with him, and the idea that she could be Roland's stepmother.

Robin laughed, "You're family tree is way too complicated."

"You seemed to get it pretty well," Regina said.

Robin looked at her sheepishly. Regina turned her whole body to face him. "What?"

"Well, I wanted to know if you ever wanted to have any more kids?" Robin responded. "If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine... Never mind. Now that I think about it, it's too soon…"

"No! No, we can talk about it," Regina said. "I mean, I guess I already have three children that I'm a mother to, if we're counting Roland already."

"So, you wouldn't want any more?" Robin asked, disappointment shining over his eyes that only Regina would have been able to detect.

"I didn't say that," Regina interrupted. "I mean, I've always wanted to carry a child, but it was never in my cards. Leopold hadn't wanted any other children, and I would have never been able to get pregnant during the 28-year curse. Plus, even if I could, I didn't have anyone I would have wanted to have a child with, so thinking about having more kids seemed like a moot point."

"But you would be open to it?"

"I guess. What about you? Would you want any more kids than just Roland and Henry?" Regina questioned back.

"I always thought I would have lots of kids when I was with Marian." Regina took a sharp intake of breath at Marian's name, so Robin gave her arm a tight squeeze before continuing. "But it didn't work out with her." Regina let out her breath, still not wishing to talk about his first wife after only barely fixing that dilemma. He turned to face the woman sitting next to him. "Yes. I think I would like to have a child or two with you, Regina."

Regina leaned over and kissed Robin. Their lips stayed together for a long time before she finally pulled back.

"I think I would like to have a child or two with you, too, Robin."


End file.
